Thursday, October 11, 2007

new words for old desires

a quick rundown of my physical/mental state is as follows:

...i got stung by a bee yesterday. just walking in cole valley on the way to the train. on my finger. which is now swollen and ten times it's normal size.

...i dropped my sidekick in a keg cup full of chardonnay. needless to say, it's ruined. i'm using some cheap ass ghetto phone until the new SK LX comes out in a week or so. most of my numbers aren't saved for some reason and texting is a bitch. the aim service sucks and i can't check my tmail.

...i haven't heard from chris. i often wonder if he thinks about me the same way i think about him. i don't know how it can be so easy for someone to just give up everything in such a callous manner. he's not the same guy i know and love, but is it really pathetic of me to want the old chris back? and to grasp to the sliver of hope he will realize it's not "too much" and we can work things out? i don't know how he's going to be able to get to san francisco and not call...he fucking lived here...with me, in my house. needless to say, i'm heartbroken and still slightly confused but i'm being strong, kinda, i think. (notreally)

...i'm still super sick and can't seem to fucking kick this illness. maybe i need to take a night off.

i feel like life has thrown me a huge curveball and just to let you know, i quit the tball team when i was 5 because i couldn't hit the ball. let's see if anything has changed.

today is gabriel's birthday. last year at this time we were getting drunk, riding bikes, and playing pinball. i miss my friend and wish he was here. i want to show him a good time because he helps me through all the bad ones.

2 comments:

jessica maria said...

guys aren't doing very well lately. i'm sorry you're heartbroken! i loves you!!

...and i just found your blog!!

can't wait til we meet again. xo

xoxo, b said...

I get to San Fran on wednesday afternoon. Dinner on wednesday night?