aug in nyc

missssss....

drink up boys

it was their last night in town.

back in business

i got a new phone. finally. i got a new crush. finally.

i'm going to sacramento for a dead to me show on wednesday. well, kinda
for dtm, kinda for another reason all together but I'll keep my mouth
shut about that one.

alert the audience

i've been in strange moods lately. sometimes i'm really happy, and then sometimes, like tonight, i have bad anxiety attacks for no reason. well, tonight there were way too many people i either love, hate, see too much, never see, or used to work/date/sleep with. it was too much for me to handle.

it's raining and i like it. the air is always crisp and clean, it helps clear my head when it gets a little foggy.

i'm really into the fall fashion this year. proenza schouler and zac posen are doing some amazing things right now. i really wish my job permitted me the monetary means to afford said couture.

also, i'm really stoked for chloe sevigny's new line for opening ceremony. i've been singing the praises of this store for years and now it's the "it" boutique in lower manhattan. new york, i love you so much.

ugh

i'm at ryan's house listening to jerky boys. i had vegan french toast for breakfast. none of this fixes the fact that i'm a complete mess knowing that cr is less than a mile from my house and i have no way of getting ahold of him. this pain is deeper than i thought.

if you got money, you get in for free

i was lamenting to my friend the other day how i don't feel comfortable
unless i'm inside a rock club or on a tour bus. this is depressing to
me, but unless i quit my job and blacklist the last 10 years of my life,
i can't see that changing anytime soon.

i had a crazy couple days with teresa in town. lots of mutual friend
gossip, late nights, champagne, and cocaine. that last one i had no
part in though, thankfully. it's comforting having ladies in my life
who work with touring musicians as much as i do and understand the life
i live.

chris is in california right now and it's breaking my heart all over
again not being able to talk to him. i wasn't prepared for how it all
went down and i never, ever, ever wanted it to be like this. i would
give up all the other ones for him. they only temporarily take my mind
off the fact that i can't have the one i want. i can't close the book
yet, an ending hasn't been written.