quarterlife

i'm at work right now. the band was supposed to be onstage 5 minutes
ago. i had to literally hide in the basement tonight in fear i would
assert that i'm quitting. the reality of that statement has yet to
fully envelope my small little head, but i know the amount of tears i
shed over my career choices and being stuck will not nearly fill the
buckets needed when i finally digest the fact that moving on means
redefining myself within my identity and the more personal self esteem
issues i will henceforth battle.
everyone asks me what i want to do. all i can say is "i don't know."
people think my job is a lot cooler than it really is, or maybe i just
think i'm a lot smarter than i really am.